Today, I explained to my 16-year-old son the true extent of my illness.
I approached the conversation prepared for any kind of reaction. Because, really, how is someone supposed to react to such news? I believe that any response is valid in these cases: silence, tears, anger, or even, why not, laughter out of not knowing how to handle emotions.
My son has shown many times that he values honesty, so I started by being completely truthful, explaining that I have a very advanced form of cancer for which there is no definitive cure. That all we can do is try to prolong the inevitable while maintaining a minimum quality of life.
His first question was the same one I asked myself, the same one anyone would ask: How much time do you have left?
I laid out the statistics for cases like mine, just as they are: cold, hard data. That we have to be realistic, while at the same time leaving the door to hope slightly open. Because, most likely, statistics hide other realities that may not apply directly to my case.
For example, in a study of 1,500 people with a cancer like mine, the average life expectancy was determined to be 20.6 months. But what was the average age of those people? Since cancer is a disease often associated with old age, maybe their average age was around 60 or 70. And what was their overall physical condition? There are many factors behind a single number.
We talked about what cancer is, the type I have, and how advanced it is.
I explained how chemotherapy works and why, in the case of the issue in my brain, this treatment is not effective, and instead, they will use radiotherapy.
Additionally, I will follow some complementary therapies that may enhance the effects of chemotherapy, and I’m even willing to try completely alternative and unconventional treatments that, in some cases, seem to have worked.
In other words, even though I may have been dealt a losing hand, I still have some weapons. And these might give me the chance to stay in the game longer than expected. You never know. The longer you play, the more chances there are for something to happen that could change everything. The opponent might make a mistake, or even the rules of the game could suddenly change. Who’s to say that, with the exponential progress of technology, something won’t be discovered that changes everything? Only those who hold on until the end will have the chance to benefit.
Never giving up is one of the values I have always tried to instill in him. And he remembers. I think that, in this part, we truly connected.
David, I’m still here! For whatever you need.
I love you.